Kate:

I’m having a serious problem.  I’m going to be honest here: I weighed myself this morning and it said 317 lbs.  That’s about 18 lbs. higher than my lowest weight this time around.  I want to cry.

Something is so wrong with me, and I don’t know how to fix it.  Every day I start out with healthy food choices and an exercise plan.  By the end of the day I’ve completely blown it all.  Even if I stick to my gym plans, I feel ravenous after and don’t stop myself from eating whatever I want.  That is my chief problem.

I don’t stop myself.

Where did I lose my restraint over the last few months???  I’m tempted to blame it on some medication I started taking in October, but part of me thinks I’m just searching for an excuse.  Deep down I’m sure it’s just my own fault.  I’m being lazy; I’m losing sight of my goals; I’m forgetting my motivation.

I make good choices.  I don’t put anything in my kitchen that isn’t healthy (in moderation). I’ve been getting out of the house more.  I’ve started going back to the gym (though not as frequently as I should). But,

I don’t stop myself.

So, here’s where I take a stand.  One day at a time so I don’t get overwhelmed.

Tomorrow I will stick to 1400-1600 calories.  I will properly keep track of all the foods I eat.  I will go to the gym and do the elliptical for 45 minutes and do weights on my arms.  If I’m feeling good, I’ll hop on the rowing machine or stair stepper.  I will call and make an appointment with Kirsten at CLM.

I will stop myself.