Kate:

I watched this movie last night.  It talks about the government’s and food companies’ complicity in America’s obesity problem.  I’ve long felt it’s hard to affect real change in the government when corporations can throw their money into keeping the status quo.  I guess I didn’t really think about what that meant for keeping America at a healthy weight.

This documentary focuses on the Bush administration since Obama wasn’t elected yet, but I truly feel that no one really puts emphasis on America’s obesity problem no matter how much lip service they give.  When there are global wars to fight, why should we look at what’s happening at home?  Maybe we need to be more selfish with our resources and focus our fight on what’s going on here.

Going off the soapbox now.  Just watch this documentary and you’ll see how marketing and government attitudes has helped America become fat.  That makes the fight that much harder but so much more rewarding in the end.

So I have recently been focusing on the way I eat. One of my biggest issues with my overeating has to do a lot with how I eat. I am a creature of habit, and I have noticed through my journals that I eat very ritualistically. I always come home from school, fix myself some large portion of food, and what TV while mindlessly munching until I am beyond stuffed. So my current eating project is to begin altering this habit.Three of the things that Dr. Beck considers crucial to successful weight loss:

1. Eating while sitting down

2. Eating slowly and mindfully

3. Eating without distraction ( no book, computer, or television!)

These seemingly simple tasks have been much harder than I thought they would be. However, I do think paying attention to these has helped me eat less, and that is nice:)

And I have to point out that a middle school at Christmas is a very hard place to eat well. Every day this week, a new Christmas treat has appeared on my desk every time I turn around:) Luckily, I don’t trust most of the stuff they make me.

Kate:

I was talking to Katie (the therapist at CLM) today, and she told me about one woman’s way of incentivizing her weight loss.  No matter what, Katie couldn’t get her to focus on the positive.  So whenever this woman doesn’t meet her goals, this is what she does:  she donates money to an organization she doesn’t agree with.

I think I’ll put money toward a great dress for my brother’s wedding instead.

Kate:

I wish I knew why I do it.  I am the queen of self-sabotage.

I’ve been losing weight, but I have not been very consistent with my food journal, exercising, or making good choices.  I had an appointment with Kirsten at CLM on Monday, and it went pretty well.  I’d lost 5 pounds since my appointment in November, which was especially good considering Thanksgiving.  Since that appointment, though, I’ve been on some sort of wreckless eat-a-thon.  I have a total disregard for what I’m eating.  I’ve stopped thinking before putting things in my mouth.

As part of my weight loss journey, I’ve come to ask myself, “Why do you want to eat?” when I want to eat outside of meal and snack times.  Often it’s because I’m bored or tired or unhappy or some emotion.  I only want to eat to keep from being hungry, not to soothe my feelings.

I try to make healthy choices when it comes to food and not overindulge.  I still allow for giving in to cravings so I don’t go crazy and eat a gallon of ice cream because I’ve kept myself from a single bite of it.  This change of lifestyle is not about deprivation, it’s about moderation.  I don’t know what’s changed in me.  Maybe it’s the weather, the lack of fulfilling employment, or something else.  I know I’ve said it before, but I need to find my motivation.  Or at least figure out why I’m getting in my own way.

Kirsten told me that the psychologist, Katie, is not coming back from her maternity leave.  I had a feeling this would happen.  She said that Katie really liked working with me, and Katie suggested another therapist with a similar style if I was interested.  I said I didn’t know if I was interested, and I’m still not sure, but maybe I need to go in order to iron some things out.  If I knew why I was floundering, I would fix it, but it’s apparently in my subconscious.  Perhaps a therapist could help me get to the bottom of things.  Even though I can’t pinpoint one thing I’ve taken away from therapy with Katie, I have to think it’s been helpful.  Sometimes I would just feel better after an appointment.

I think I just talked/blogged myself into scheduling an appointment when I get back from the holidays with my family.

Kate:

Well, it’s December now, and it’s cold.  Today was the first snow in Chicago, and I know it’s only going to get worse.  Last winter was pretty mild, so this one is bound to be bad.

Exercising is so much harder when it’s cold outside.  The motivation to leave the apartment when not absolutely necessary goes way down.  I have some workout DVDs, including Jillian Michaels’ 30-Day Shred, but I’ve only gotten as far as watching them to see what they’re all about.  That doesn’t burn many calories!

Yesterday I walked round-trip to the movie theater to see An Education.  6.5 miles, a great movie, and I got some Christmas shopping done!  By the time I got home, I really needed a warm shower and some serious time defrosting.  I was really proud of myself for making the effort, and today I made it to the gym.

However, I really need to explore other options for exercising during the winter, when I just can’t bear the cold.  Sticking within my calorie range goes a long way, but I don’t think it’s going to get the job done the way I want it to.  Any suggestions?