Kate:

Okay, we’ve been slacking on this blog.  Apologies to anyone who reads this regularly!  The reason I haven’t been posting is because I didn’t want to take up the blog with continual postings on falling off the wagon.  Who needs all those “Woe is me” posts?  I don’t like writing them and I’m sure no one wants to read them.  I promise to write more often!

So, I’ve started to get things back on track, and I feel great.  What prompted this post was the fantastic weather a few days ago.  It was close to 80 degrees here in Chicago, and it’s been awhile since we’ve had such a beautiful day where I felt like getting out for a walk.  If you’ve ever been to Chicago, or seen a weather map for that matter, you know that it’s pretty miserable here in the winter.  When it snows, the sidewalks shrink to icy one-lane paths.  Wind chill is so bad that you don’t want to travel more than absolutely necessary.  So, my walks took a back seat to hibernation.

I left my apartment (okay, dragged myself out of the apartment since I made the mistake of checking my email when I came home from work, and that lead to other internet surfing) and headed south.  I walked for a mile and a quarter then turned around and came back.  It took me about an hour to complete the round-trip.  I walk with purpose, but I’m not trying to win a race.  I usually go for length of walk rather than speed.

I read this MSN article yesterday that lets me know my way is okay:

Endurance training (about an hour at a moderate intensity) has been shown to keep your calorie burn revved for up to 7½ hours post-exercise. Long walks will help maximize results because there is a dose response to exercise; that is, the more you do, the greater the benefits you’ll receive. These will likely be the slowest walks you do in the program.

Yesterday I walked again, this time setting out from work and walking towards home.  I walked about 2.6 miles before taking the bus.  I wasn’t wearing the best shoes and didn’t want to get nasty blisters that would prevent me from walking more often.  My goal is to eventually walk all the way home from work.  That’s 7.28 miles, and should take me about 2 and a half hours.  I’ll work up to that!

Want to track the miles of your walk?  I love Google’s pedometer.

Kate:

I feel like I’m finally back on track.  I think my PMS was not helping my willpower at all.  The perfect storm of the holidays, spending time at home, being on this new medication, and struggling against a plateau is over.  Well, I’ve decided that it’s over, anyway.

I’ve gone back to diligently keeping a food journal, and that’s been extremely helpful.  Also, I’ve started using the exercise DVDs I bought along with some of the programs I’ve recorded off FitTV.  It took me a while after getting everything together (DVDs, dumbbells, exercise mat) to really get going because I kept coming up with reasons I couldn’t start.  I didn’t think there was enough room in my living room without moving furniture and that seemed insurmountable when I was dealing with a lack of motivation.

So, now I’ve gotten my weight down to 312, and it feels good to be losing weight again.  I’ve made an appointment with Kirsten at CLM for next week, and I’m hoping she’ll be able to give me a little self-esteem boost along with some tips on how to keep going.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that losing weight is going to work this time, especially for those of us who have tried and failed every other time.   We just have to keep with it; I know it will work.

Kate:

I just printed off 5 more sheets of my weight loss calendar.  Each sheet is six weeks, so that brings me to the beginning of August.  It’s kind of weird to think that far ahead, and it’s dangerous to dream about how much more weight I’ll have lost.  Dangerous because I’ll be disappointed (even though I should be happy with any weight loss) if I don’t make the number in my head.

When I first started keeping the calendar, I set a goal for a loss of 6 pounds every 3 weeks.  That worked out well in the beginning, but things are slowing down, and I don’t want my calendar to be a deterrent.  So, I’ve modified it so my goal is 4.5 pounds every three weeks.  That’s 1.5 pounds a week.  I think that’s far more attainable for me, even if the numbers don’t look as pretty or as high.

My calendar is posted on the side of my refrigerator, and I update it at least every Saturday (my weigh-in day).  I have issues with my scale mostly because all of the floors in my apartment are uneven.  Hey, it has character!  I never know the exact right spot to get the lowest number.  Regardless, my scale is never far off from the one at CLM.

Anyway, here’s a template of my calendar if you’d like to use it.

Weight loss

Kate:

Last summer I signed up as a control subject in a medical study to make a little extra money.  I’ve done two tests for them, and it’s been pretty simple.  Now they’re asking if I want to do a study next month that’s a little more involved, but it pays a lot more.

The catch is that I can’t lose weight between now and then.  Weight loss or gain would affect their test results.  When they called in November to see if I’d be interested, I’d lost too much weight in the previous two months.  The woman asked if I wanted her to call me after the new year to see if my weight had leveled off.  I told her she could but that I hoped I would keep losing weight.  I don’t think she fully comprehended that my weight loss was a good thing.  I guess she’d rather have study subjects.

Two months later, and my weight loss has leveled off.  However, I feel a renewed commitment to my weight loss goals, and I need to take that into account.  Do I want to maintain for about 3 weeks and potentially lose the momentum or do I want to fatten my bank account?  It’s a tough decision, but I’m really leaning toward embracing my newfound energy and turning down the study.  As my friend said, I better lose enough weight to make it worth giving up the money!

Kate:

I was talking to Katie (the therapist at CLM) today, and she told me about one woman’s way of incentivizing her weight loss.  No matter what, Katie couldn’t get her to focus on the positive.  So whenever this woman doesn’t meet her goals, this is what she does:  she donates money to an organization she doesn’t agree with.

I think I’ll put money toward a great dress for my brother’s wedding instead.

Kate:

I wish I knew why I do it.  I am the queen of self-sabotage.

I’ve been losing weight, but I have not been very consistent with my food journal, exercising, or making good choices.  I had an appointment with Kirsten at CLM on Monday, and it went pretty well.  I’d lost 5 pounds since my appointment in November, which was especially good considering Thanksgiving.  Since that appointment, though, I’ve been on some sort of wreckless eat-a-thon.  I have a total disregard for what I’m eating.  I’ve stopped thinking before putting things in my mouth.

As part of my weight loss journey, I’ve come to ask myself, “Why do you want to eat?” when I want to eat outside of meal and snack times.  Often it’s because I’m bored or tired or unhappy or some emotion.  I only want to eat to keep from being hungry, not to soothe my feelings.

I try to make healthy choices when it comes to food and not overindulge.  I still allow for giving in to cravings so I don’t go crazy and eat a gallon of ice cream because I’ve kept myself from a single bite of it.  This change of lifestyle is not about deprivation, it’s about moderation.  I don’t know what’s changed in me.  Maybe it’s the weather, the lack of fulfilling employment, or something else.  I know I’ve said it before, but I need to find my motivation.  Or at least figure out why I’m getting in my own way.

Kirsten told me that the psychologist, Katie, is not coming back from her maternity leave.  I had a feeling this would happen.  She said that Katie really liked working with me, and Katie suggested another therapist with a similar style if I was interested.  I said I didn’t know if I was interested, and I’m still not sure, but maybe I need to go in order to iron some things out.  If I knew why I was floundering, I would fix it, but it’s apparently in my subconscious.  Perhaps a therapist could help me get to the bottom of things.  Even though I can’t pinpoint one thing I’ve taken away from therapy with Katie, I have to think it’s been helpful.  Sometimes I would just feel better after an appointment.

I think I just talked/blogged myself into scheduling an appointment when I get back from the holidays with my family.

I’ve finally lost 50 pounds.  Slightly bruised from falling off the wagon, I climbed back on with great results.  I’ve been gaining and losing the same 7 or so pounds over the last month, but I’m moving in the right direction now.

Along with the 50 pound mark, I’m back under 300.  It’s been about three years since I was this weight, and it feels good.  I bought a new pair of jeans the other day, and now I’m questioning whether I should have gone down another size.  Regardless, they won’t look quite as baggy as the jeans I wore at 350 pounds!

I’ve been chugging away with this new life for the last 29 weeks, and though my goal was to lose 2 pounds a week, I am completely satifsfied with my progress.  I know that going slow makes weight loss last, and I welcome the setbacks that teach me I can come back from them.  There will come a point when I’m going to have to simply maintain my weight, and I think these setbacks will help me with that.  Otherwise, there wouldn’t be much keeping me from saying, “Okay, I reached my goal and now I don’t have to try any more.”

I’m not even that worried about the holidays.  I know that I can have a day or two where I go a little crazy (not bingeing crazy, but it’s Thanksgiving crazy) and go back to being healthy after that.  After all, it’s what a skinny girl would do, right?

Lo:

Ok ladies, I am stepping up my game.  There was some discussion last week about weighing, and whether it should be done daily, weekly, or even less. Well, from my experience, weigh-ins are an incredible motivator to stay on track…as long as they are not viewed as the ONLY measurement of success. I haven’t been weighing daily, and have not weighed myself for a while so this might be an adjustment. However, I have to start from where I am… there is no way around that. For me, I like the daily routine of weighing. It is a great way for me to stay on top of the decisions I am making. Ok, so as far as accountability goes, I have decided to post a weekly weight of myself here on the blog, so the rest of you can follow along. Accountability is important with weight loss…so I figured this would be a great way to stay on top of my efforts. I think I am going to make Thursdays my weigh-in day, so we shall see how this goes!

What are you all doing to stay accountable?

Kate:

My weight loss journey this time around began with the knowledge that my brother is getting married next year.  In one year and one day, to be exact.  He’s getting married on the beach, and I knew I didn’t want to look like an errant whale in the wedding photos.  None of my family members would have thought of me this way, of course, but I would see nothing else in the photos, especially because my brother’s fiancée is a beautiful woman.

You see, I constantly compare myself to how other people look.  I think about how much better my life would be if I were as thin as that woman I passed on the sidewalk or that girl across from me on the bus.  I don’t want to be skinny.  I will never be skinny, but I want to be healthy looking.  I don’t want to pass store windows and wonder if that’s how everyone else sees me.  I don’t want people to avoid sitting next to me on the El because I take up a little of the seat next to me.  (Let me say that those seats are damn small, too!)

So, it’s one year and one day until my brother’s wedding, and I’ve lost 45 pounds.  I would like to lose another 75 in the next year.  I’m trying to have moderate goals so that they’re attainable.  I don’t intend to stop losing weight after my brother’s wedding, because I know I’ll still have some ways to go, but I want to look markedly better by then.  Of course, my head says 120 pounds in 18 months is incredible, but my heart wants me to be under 200 pounds by next year.

I just hope that if my heart gets disappointed, my head can console it.

And Lo, I think you’re right about accountability.  I have plenty of accountability to others, which is definitely what I need, but I’m not being accountable to myself right now.  My immediate goal is to begin taking myself to task over slip-ups that I justify in my head.  If I want to be successful, I can’t let myself get away with things.  That’s how this all started in the first place.

Lo:

Let me just start out by saying that I absolutely love the holiday season. I love the weather, the smells, the shopping, and the family that comes along with it. However, it is always the time of year that makes me wish I were somehow different or better than I am. I want to walk into each Christmas party and holiday event wearing a smaller size, and glowing with confidence. Unfortunately, I spend more time pondering my personal fantasy than actually acting on it. About this time every year, I have some absurd goal such as “lose 30 pounds by Christmas” or “drop four dress sizes by New Years.” However, this year I am going to approach things a little bit differently. I refuse to hinge my enjoyment of the holiday season on some arbitrary goals, so I am going to continue my slow & steady approach rather than set myself up for failure. So here are my healthy goals as we approach the holidays.

• Make sure I get at least 30 minutes of physical activity three times per week (starting small…)

• Continue working on journaling everything I eat ( haven’t mastered that goal yet)

• Recognize and continue my healthy accomplishments and healthy habits that I have established (healthy breakfast & lunch, no meal skipping)